Pain

Here asking myself if you are feeling the same pain or I am the only one going through this daily. Am I the only one hoping and praying that there would be a change because Lord knows this hurts and my heart has been left weak and distrustful from experiences past.

Why promise to try your best to change and the very next minute I see you doing the same? Isn’t trying your best the same as not repeating it again? Am I expecting too much from you? Is all this pain worth it? Is the budding friendship worth this pain?

Looking at the phone for long periods, waiting for a response or “Hi” is now the norm. I am so used to it that I no longer know that is what I am doing.

Why don’t I have some of your trust? Why can’t I watch you leave with your friends and not wonder throughout what you doing? Why do I keep placing one leg on your side of the bed hoping I feel a warm leg there? Is it wrong that I desire to be the only one to please or make you happy? I know so, we are social creatures but I want to be the only one so bad. We have friends that also want to interact with us, who desire our company, it’s their right.

What’s there to gain if we keep things to ourselves and pretend everything is alright with us? Do the cracks cover up? Does the doubt leave? Do the questions get answered by themselves? How do I get to know you if you are always in your shell? When you are not willing to be brought out? Do you doubt the beauty of your whole being? Do you think your past has scared you so hideously that I would run away?

Do I think you cannot handle the truth?

Do you think I cannot handle the truth?

Is This Love by Bob Marley is what I want to end this with.

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