How To Love With Your Head

Let’s face it: whoever the love of your life will be, there’s an 80% chance she’s a ho. It’s not something you look for, but it is what it is. Chances are, she’s gonna continue ho-ing even after you show her your akuma mu fitaa. It’s not that she’s wicked, it’s just the way she has been; character is hard to break. This piece should probably be titled, How to Love a Ho, except guys are hoes too (appropriate plural form?? *checks urbandictionary.com*). So instead, we’ll call it How to Love With Your Head.

So why love a ho in the first place? This is because A. They are goddamn exciting, B. There’s a male gene that tingles when she goes ‘fuck them other niggaz cos I’m down for my nigga, and C. Good girls are boring. A smart nigga will say A = C, yeah I know. You are exactly the type of guy I wrote this piece for.
Truthfully, niggaz don’t start out looking for a ho to love, they just want their 3 points and continue to the next one. But the way some hoes are built, niggaz just wanna try saving them, and end up falling instead. Then they gotta endure some bullshit purse-carrying waiting-for-her-as-she-sucks-someother-nigga-dry kinda lifestyle. Ok, maybe not that extreme, but you see where I am going right?

Ok, lets start. First of all you gotta admit she’s a ho. It doesn’t matter whether you met in church or your other nigga passed her on to you. Then you gotta let her know that you know. That right there is the lynch pin. If a ho stays after this, then you aight. If she doesn’t, LET HER GO. That ho ain’t for you. If you don’t, you are the purse-carrying type of guy. Period.

While you are with that ho, she will pull some fast ones on you. You gotta be faster. This is an endurance test. You gotta know which stories are before your time and which are likely to be current. SHE WILL CHEAT. This is a fact. If you don’t like it, don’t love a ho.

They say love is nothing without trust. Well, use your head. Put your hoe-ish gf on a weekend away with some dudes, and see if you still believe that mantra. Let her see your options. This is a tried and tested way to keep a ho on lockdown. Hoes are like kids with ADHD, you need to keep them interested. She needs to feel like she has to protect her territory from predatory hoes. But u need to cut her some slack to let her know she winning so she doesn’t turn around a wanna pay you back like for like. This stuff gets to be like an art form.

Lastly, no matter how much you want, let her initiate most of the sappy couple things, but participate fully. You gotta keep your tiger spots but make em soft like sheepskin. If you’ve been following by now, you’d know what I mean.

There you have it. Use your head at all times. It ain’t easy loving a ho, but somebody gotta do it. If it’s you, better do it right and keep your chin up amongst guys who’ve probably fucked her before.

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