Before you start reading, let me inform you that I am not a “writer” so please enjoy…ie if you ever stumble upon this post
“Begin your friendship with kind words and compliments and live a lifetime as friends” ~Anon
I grew up thinking that my female friends were only good for teasing and the occasional brush-ups no romantic ties, maybe that was one of the main reasons why I had my first girlfriend after graduation (our relationship lasted less than a dragon’s orgasm)..It woke me up to my error, my female friends are my friends because
- I love them
- We have common interests
- They are fun to be with
- We understand and know each other
Lol etc is a point also, there are so many reasons why you are friends with someone. Now coming back to the post. (I might veer off often cos ma thought patterns are kinda weird and this my first time, I might deliver my thoughts more coherently later). After my breakup I analyzed the relationship (a bit futile) and I realized that one of the reasons we did not work out was because we were almost strangers, we did not share common interests etc.
To write this i asked for the input of a couple of friends. I asked them whether they thought knowing someone (friends) before entering a relationship was important and whether it serves as a strong foundation for the relationship. Will post their responses in no particular order but the friends are Fiona, Nanama, Kirsten and Leon
“Well i think being friends before getting into a relationship is way wiser than diving straight in, if you’re friends before you hook up there will be fewer surprises. It gives you a chance to adapt to the person. You find out bad habits, then you can decide if they’re things you can overlook or not. You also find out the persons interests…whether you agree, disagree or cannot stand them. Opposites don’t always attract. My ex and i were friends before we started dating, i got an idea of what to expect. Besides, what’s the point in rushing into something? The rushed relationships are usually out of lust, love at first sight is an illusion to me.”
“I think dating a stranger is way better unless you think your friend is the one, because when the relationship ends you lose your friend too”
“Personally I think it’s better to them first (be friends), you feel more secured, you also carry on from your relationship. But if you barely know the person, it makes the relationship full of adventure. It provides you with the opportunity to learn everything about the person from scratch all the basics, it also allows you to walk out of the relationship easily ^_^. If you were friends, it makes it difficult to end the relationship but if you aint, you can dogg the person”
“A friend is better (I think) but a stranger isn’t bad, if you feel you have a lot in common why not go ahead and try it out? That way if doesn’t work out you are not losing a friend. Whoever you like more I guess.. but with a friend if yall break up make sure yall can get the friendship back..and I always say take it slow especially if it’s a friend”
It seems losing the friendship with the person is the reason why people choose “strangers” over their friends. I think that should be the main reason why you date a friend..you see the WORTH in the person and treasure your relationship (friendship which is a sort of relationship)..you already know what the person means to you. The person is still your friend with all your bullshit and rubbish.
As humans we are dynamic, we change, we adapt….we constantly change. Adventure? new discoveries? We are bound to create new memories every day with anyone we come into contact with. Every day is a new adventure. Till the day you will die, you keep on discovering things about yourself, you will discover new weaknesses, strengths, loves…If you both are not kill-joys and have fun all the time you will surely enjoy ur relationship. We have common friends, you won’t feel odd around them, the need to feel accepted is reduced.
(You know almost everything that you can know) about the person. You know what they like and what they don’t like.
It’s true that if you date a stranger you will eventually become friends and that is what all relationships should be built upon, friendship and mutual respect for each other
I don’t know whether I got my point across but I wish I did but one thing I know is I managed to put my thoughts down and get educated by my friends.
I might edit this post before the end of the week..I am open to corrections and inputs 🙂
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